Out of her reach
by marvelwomen
Summary: Melinda May once thought that love was a distant dream, not possible for her to achieve. How is this perspective changed?


**Hi everyone. This is my first Agents of Shield FanFiction(although it's more of a Drabble) and it's about May and Coulson. I wrote it at 1am so it's probably horrible but it was an idea that came into my head on a whim and I wanted to write it. It was originally going to be about 100 words but I got into it so this is longer than I intended.**

 **This story doesn't really fit in anywhere because I'm only on season one of Agents of Shield so you could consider this an au I guess?**

 **Anyway I'll stop being annoying and get on with the story here but if I've made any mistakes with the plot(extremely likely) the please do not hesitate to tell me. This wasn't BETA'd so all mistakes are my own but I am a sleep deprived teenager here so please go easy on me when pointing them out:D**

She thought she would never experience love.

It had once been possible for her, in her reach even, a dream that refused to go away.

Then of course Bahrain had happened and every hope of love she had ever had had been pulled from her as despair was pumped into her.

She had spent years wallowing in it, emotionally distancing herself from everyone

Then he fought his way back into her life and every feeling she had tried to suppress bubbled up to the surface again.

It had taken months before they had their first date. Even longer before she opened up to him but he was always there, willing to listen whenever she wanted to talk, comforting when the nightmares took hold of her and most importantly someone in her life that was always there, solid, dependable.

His proposal had been unorthodox yet perfect, on a helicopter on the way to the hub. The magnificent views and the privacy had made it special for her and she had no doubts whenever she did say yes.

At this stage she still wouldn't have described it as love but it was progress and she was more than happy with her chosen partner.

The wedding was a small affair, held in China with only their closest friends and family present. It was the first time she thought that she may be able to let go of the past and move on with this incredible man by her side.

When she held the positive pregnancy test in her hands she was shocked but in a strange way happy. It hadn't been planned yet it felt so right. He was thrilled and they began preparing for the baby's imminent arrival.

The first day she truly experienced love it was a shock. The best day of her life and a day which she would always remember.

* _flashback*_

 _She readjusted her grip on his hand and got ready for another push. As the contraction neared it's peak and she pushed with all her might and was rewarded with the sensation of something slipping from between her legs and the cry of new life filling the room._

 _Reaching down to grab the baby she pulled it on to her chest. Tears were streaming down her face as she stared down at the flushed skin of the newborn. It was a boy._

 _Tearing her eyes away from the baby, she chanced a glance at his face. It was full of wonder and awe as he stared down at the bundle of life that they had created._

 _Her eyes caught his and a grin spread over his features as he whispered "we did it Mel, we actually did it"_

 _She could only nod as she looked at the baby, their baby, their creation. A smile graced her face and she stroked his cheek and whispered "welcome to the world little Theodore Jabari May-Coulson."_

Although that day was the day she truly felt love for the first time the day when she finally felt she could let go of her past came at a much more ordinary time.

It was evening in the house and the family were watching a movie together.

Theo was curled up on her chest asleep his dark curls even messier than normal and she was leaning against Phil, head resting against him , fighting a losing battle to stay awake. He had his arm round her and was looking at her and his son with an expression of love that no one would have believed Phil Coulson could wear.

It was when she surveyed her family and how much things had changed that she finally felt it was time to move on. The nightmares belonged to the past, a past in which she didn't have her son and didn't have a husband that cared for her. It was time for a fresh start.

As the credits started on the movie Phil scooped a sleepy Theo off her chest and flicked off the TV with his free hand. Adjusting the baby on his hip he made his way to the stairs to settle him for bed.

She followed him to the foot of the stairs and paused for a moment of reflection. She had known since the moment Theo was born that she had changed but it wasn't until she had experienced this precious moment of bonding that she finally understood.

She needed to move on fully. Leave everything in the past and enjoy the time with her family. They was the most important thing to her now, her baby and her husband, they were her reason for being the person she was today and she needed to be the best she could be for them and that meant no more dwelling on the past.

With this in mind she began to ascend the stairs, as if she were escaping from her past self. There would be no nightmares tonight.

 **This was probably terrible but please review anyway. Also if anyone has any Agent Carter prompt ideas please include them in your review and I'll consider writing them as I'm OBSESSED with Agent Carter.**

 **I now have to panic because I reloaded I have 2 history projects and an RE project to do as well as lots of other homework and they're due in on Monday:O**

 **-Amy**


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